If you decide to photograph your children, you might go to the store and spend a lot of time carefully picking out coordinating outfits. If you pick out “seshal” outfits, your four-year-old might beg for cute mint green shoes to match. You might give in and buy the mint green shoes because, hey, they do look pretty cute on her. Later, the next day, you might go off to do something only to return to find your children wearing these “seshal” outfits and find that one child wiped her hand on hers while making a Nutella sandwich. You might clean up the outfit and kids, dress the boy, go to put the cute mint green shoes on your four-year-old and find she will not wear them because she has blisters from wearing them several hours the night before. Frustrated, you may look through mounds of shoes for another suitable pair. Then you may find, of course, you can only find a pair of her sneakers. You give up, pack them in the car and drive to a location to photograph them. Then, when piling out of your car, the boy might go running down the sidewalk, completely bite the dust, and get scrapes on his nose and forehead. Once you get him settled down, you might decide to proceed with your picture-taking.
You might find your children uncooperative and doing the opposite of everything you ask them to do. Then you might pull out some goldfish crackers to keep them happy between shots.
You might ask them to go to the end of the bridge so you can get a candid running shot.
While waiting for your youngest to make it to the end of the bridge, you may hear screaming, see your terrified four-year-old running like mad and remember she has an intense and ridiculous fear of any and all bugs.
You might decide to scrap the whole candid running shot and take your children to a different spot.
Then you might find that this other spot is in full sun which is not flattering on your precious little cherubs, so you think, turn around and . . .
look to see your middle child dumping the Goldfish crackers onto the grass while your youngest grazes on them like a cow. When you see this you may decide its time to hire another photographer to take your children’s pictures, pack them in the car and drive home defeated.
The end.